· Max Lowery · Podcast Episode · 4 min read
#88 The Biggest Weight Loss Mistake Women Over 40 Make in December
December is not the problem. The real problem is the story you tell yourself about December. One meal turns into “I’ve blown it.” One slip turns into “I’ll start in January.” That belief triggers the spiral. Not the food. Not the parties. Not Christmas itself.
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The Real Reason December Derails Your Progress Every Year
Every December, the same pattern repeats itself for so many women. You look at your calendar, see the meals, the parties, the family gatherings, the work events, and almost instantly your mindset shifts. A quiet but powerful thought creeps in: “I’ll just enjoy myself and start again in January.” That single belief is the real reason December feels out of control every year. Not food. Not alcohol. Not Christmas itself. The story you tell yourself about what December means is what changes everything.
This pattern is driven by something called all-or-nothing thinking. It is when your brain decides that if you can’t be perfect, there is no point trying at all. One meal turns into a full day. One heavy weekend turns into an entire month written off. Once your brain decides December is “ruined,” it switches into scarcity mode. Now it feels like your last chance to eat anything you want before January punishment begins. That shift creates intentional overeating, not accidental overeating. It becomes a mindset of “I might as well,” and that mentality quietly wipes out your confidence, consistency, and self-trust.
Here is what most women never pause long enough to zoom out and see. If you eat three meals per day, there are 93 meals in December. Even if you have ten social events that involve indulgent food, that still leaves over 80 meals that are completely within your control. But all-or-nothing thinking zooms you in so tightly on the ten “imperfect” meals that it convinces you the whole month is lost. Your power shrinks because your perspective shrinks.
There is also a biological layer to this. When you are tired, stressed, overwhelmed, or under pressure, the logical part of your brain has less capacity. Your emotional brain takes over. This isn’t a character flaw. It’s how the nervous system works. The emotional brain loves simple rules. On track or off track. Good or bad. Success or failure. Years of dieting train your brain to believe health means perfection. So the moment perfection breaks, effort collapses. Psychologists call this effort withdrawal. Once the brain decides you’ve “failed,” it stops trying altogether.
This is where the Two Arrows concept is so powerful. The first arrow is the actual event. The extra dessert, the heavy meal, the stressful day. The second arrow is the story you fire at yourself afterward. “I always mess this up.” “I’ll never change.” “I may as well give up.” The first arrow is normal. The second arrow is what creates the spiral. You do not fail because you overeat. You fail because you believe overeating means you failed.
The solution is not stricter rules, more punishment, or more willpower. The solution is learning to stop abandoning yourself the moment life becomes imperfect. December does not change your biology. It does not remove your habits or your power. Only your beliefs do that.
The real strategy is surprisingly simple. Eat proper meals rather than grazing all day. Prioritise protein and fibre so your blood sugar stays stable and cravings stay quieter. Drink water consistently. Walk daily to regulate your mood and keep your body moving without increasing hunger. Enjoy the social events and the special meals, but do not turn December into a month-long excuse to disconnect from your standards.
You can enjoy Christmas and still feel proud on January 1st. You can celebrate without spiralling. The only thing you truly need to stop doing is firing the second arrow at yourself. Because the moment you stop attacking yourself for being human, everything about your relationship with food begins to change.
Want to see more behind the scenes, client success stories, and daily tips for sustainable fat loss? Come connect with me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/max.lowery. It’s where I share practical advice, motivation, and the exact strategies my clients use to lose weight and keep it off, without ever dieting again.